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Well, I dunnoe what 2 update.. ...


Studies-wise, well, i still can cope as i'm with three subjects considering that one of them (Communication In Health) is nt really a subject as it's more of writing essays) I'm fine with Chemistry but Biology is the one which is giving me some problems as i didn't take biology in poly. So, i gotta catch up n read up after each lecture.. But overall, everythin is fine with studyin..


Some of the problems i hav in Singapore is coming back to me.. Since it's happening to me everywhere i go, den it must be me den.. My parents told me to make some austrlian friends.. but till nw, i've met only 1 cos she's living in the same apartment as me. In sch, the bunch r juz classmates.. n sometimes when there's a break, i would go alone n use the comp and thus i seem like i'm nt part of their grp but am juz taggin along for classes/lectures..

I'm a person who's easily distracted, discouraged.. N i feel tt i can forgive ppl easily cos i would always think tt they did not do something purposely.. There's a fight recently between 2 person in the apartment.. n i try to put myself in both of their shoes.. if i were both of them, i would of cuz take a step back n juz forgive each other..

At first i thought that i'm the closet with my housemates.. When i first came, i'm very happy that i've found those ppl. But when wks pass by, it is when you get to see each other people's character n thank god i didn't share a room with them.. Mayb it's me den, cos whenever they pass a bad comment abt me, they say it in a jokin manner.. but to me, it's nt a joke at all.. cos sometimes for us, we would also let other people noe of their bad points thru jokes rite? .. Also, u noe tt i'm e quiet person rite? so, i dun tend to tell them my opinion or views n so whenever we go out or for dinner, i would feel tt i'm juz taggin along n nt contributing to anythin.. So, in tt case, even if i dun go, even if there's one less person, it wouldn't even make a difference.. E only difference is tt there'll one more person to carry things or to contribute to the expenses so tt they dun hav 2 pay more.. We juz came back from dinner.. everyone's happy but i'm nt.. so here i am in my room writing..

I was walkin in Rundle street a few days ago n saw a shop sellin bouquet of flowers.. N i ask myself: "How would it feel like to receive something like tt?" Hmmm.. i wouldn't tell other people tt i had this thought.. cos u noe.. imagine an ugly gal sayin tt to herself n what would u think? U would of cuz think it's disgusting.. Tt's y i wouldn't even tell other ppl if i like some1.. Yes, even ugly ppl hav e rights to like etc, but it doesn't happen to us but some damn pretty/cute bitch who has e same character as us would b grabbed like hotcakes.. ironic world.. I dun think my housemates enjoy my company.. If i were them, i can't stand e sight of myself.. much less them.. Mayb it's bcos i did too many bad things in my past life.. but i've already tried my best to treat ppl well etc.. Y?!?!?

I'm so disappointed with guys.. they tend to put more emphasies more on looks den on character..
Sometimes when i cry, i tend to ask myself if it's justified or not.. Seein an ugly gal cried is also disgusting too, u noe.. tt's i dun do tt in front of other ppl.. One of my housemate said: "I think Yuen Teng is ok. sure got ppl like her one, juz tt they didn't say out only" I was very happy after he said tt cos he's e only guy who has said tt to me.. but nw, i juz feel tt those were comfort words..



I only i can b more hard-hearted,
more decisive,
n more opinionated..

Y T